Vote to Change the System, Part 1: BEEF

Last weekend we watched one of the best movies ever. It was horrifying, empowering, and inspiring all at the same time. Food, Inc. Now, I know that it came out a while ago, and it might even be shocking that I have just now gotten around to seeing it, but I read The Omnivore's Dilemma last year and knew that this movie would cover a lot of the same information. This was true, but I am so glad that I saw it and I think it is a movie that EVERYONE NEEDS TO SEE. For too long we have been in the dark as to how our food is grown, processed, and produced. We blindly eat what the government so kindly subsidizes for us in order to make it cheap, without knowing what, exactly, is in it. I'm not just talking about fast food either. We all know that fast food is one of the big contributors to our obesity, diabetes, and heart disease epidemics, but unfortunately the fast food industry is even dictating the quality of the food in the grocery store.



The food that most Americans eat today does not come from farms anymore. The pictures on the packaging have us believe that the milk comes from a quaint little farm in rural Pennsylvania where the cows roam free across the abundance of grass and clover and are happily milked by their loving farmer.. when in all actuality it is quite the opposite. Our food is coming from factories. No longer do the companies who produce our food treat our food with respect, therefore disrespecting the workers and and ultimately us as the consumers. It's not just about food either, it's about what we are allowed to know and talk about. You see, there are these laws called Food Libel Laws (also known as Veggie Libel Laws) that, in 13 U.S. states, make it very easy for food producers to sue their critics for libel (defamation). Remember back in the 1990's when Oprah was sued by a beef producer in Texas, after she heard about the conditions, for saying that she was scared to eat another burger? Well, luckily she is Oprah and she had enough money to hire the right lawyers and win, but the average person isn't able to do that. They will sue the average person. In fact, in Colorado, it is a considered FELONY to speak out against the industrial food industry. And what's worse, now there is the "Cheeseburger" bill (instated in 2005) that make it very hard for US to sue THEM. While I agree that people should be held accountable for what they do to their own bodies by their own freedom of choice (in other words, you shouldn't be able to sue McDonald's for making you fat), I do not believe that a law should protect the corporations who produce the poisonous food from any responsibility whatsoever. The bottom line is that people need to have available the correct information about their food and be provided with better health education. These massive industrial food mongers are in no way helping this to happen.

I am hopeful that the more people see movies like Food, Inc. and read books like Eric Schlosser's Fast Food Nation and Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma the more proactive we all will become with regards to what we are eating. Anyone in their right mind would make a change in their diet after hearing about and seeing where their food comes from. Take beef, for example: as the industry narrows down the amount of companies in charge of raising and processing the beef that is the most abundant in our food chain, the quality of the food along with the integrity of the companies quickly declines. In the 1970's the top five beef packing companies controlled about 25% of the market and there were thousands of slaughter houses all over the country, today the top four (Tyson, Cargill, Swift, and National Beef) control MORE THAN 80% of the market and there are only 13 slaughterhouses. In 1972 the Food and Drug Administration conducted 50,000 food safety inspections and in 2006 they conducted only 9,164. With this dramatic decrease in quality control and a subsequent decrease in quality, it's no wonder that we have had numerous outbreaks of E-coli 0157H7.

It all begins with how the cows are treated. The industry figured out the fastest and most profitable way to produce affordable meat for every American: cram as many cows into a CAFO (Concentrated Animal Feed Operation) as you can (this equates to miles upon miles of the most unsanitary conditions you can imagine) and feed them food that they are not meant to eat (corn) so that they can fatten up at an unnatural rate. Cows are herbivores, they are meant to eat grass and clover, not corn with ground up chicken or cow parts mixed in. Someone once said to me, "Cows will eat anything you put in front of them, how is corn unnatural?" my response is this- apparently humans will eat just about anything you put in front of them too, that doesn't mean it's good for them, in fact it will kill them just as feeding corn to cows will kill the cows! The only reason corn doesn't kill the cows (most of the time) is because they are pumped full of antibiotics to stave off infection until they are slaughtered just before the antibiotics stop working. If we let the cows live a bit longer, they would die from being sick. While in the CAFOs, your delicious hamburger meat is standing knee-deep in manure, it's own and that of the thousands of other cows that share the confined space. Their hides get coated in feces and then sent to processing where thousands of different cows and their poo find their way into your cheeseburger. Yum, E-coli. One partial solution to the whole E-coli thing would be to take the cows off of their unhealthy diet and feed them grass for five days; they are amazing creatures with powerful digestive systems, they would shed 80% of the E-coli bacteria in their stomachs. Instead of doing this (and keeping the cows clean) the beef industry decided to create another entirely unnatural solution: they add a "hamburger meat filler" that has been cleansed with AMMONIA to the meat in order to kill the harmful bacteria. This filler is in 70% of the hamburger meat in the U.S.

Once again, this isn't just fast food beef, it's the majority of the beef in the supermarket as well. Even if it has a different name on the package, remember- there are only four companies who control over 80% of the market. You see, the fast food industry controls how MOST of our food is produced, since they are the top buyers of it. McDonald's is the #1 beef purchaser in the U.S. and they want all of their hamburgers to taste the same therefore, all beef is produced with the same [super low] standards. McDonald's is also the #1 purchaser of potatoes and one of the largest purchasers of tomatoes, lettuce, and apples. Yikes. With such high demand for cheap food FAST, quality is a thing of the past.

We must speak out against this.

Step one is to KNOW WHERE YOUR BEEF COMES FROM.

Coming up next in Part 2: CHICKEN

Protest the 40+ hour work week!

Life shouldn't be as hard as it is. Our American society places upon us these expectations that are virtually impossible to fulfill. We are programmed to think that we must work ourselves to the bone day in and day out for the majority of our lives, so that we can "retire" (if you're lucky) when we are 65 and then really live our lives... if you're not too sick and doped up on 27 different prescriptions with 82 different side effects, that is. This is just plain WRONG. In fact, we are so indoctrinated with this mindset that if someone doesn't work AT LEAST 40-50 hours a week, they are considered LAZY by most other people. The thing is, we are MAKING OURSELVES SICK, and overworking ourselves is the foundation of it. You see, when you work 55-65 hours a week (let alone 40-50), sleep quantity and quality undoubtedly suffer, as does your eating habits (because eating healthy, home-prepared food takes more time), and also your level of activity drops off. Your stress levels begin to skyrocket because of fatigue, malnourishment, and inactivity so you are therefore less able to handle anything upsetting or stressful. Instead of doing things that would be good for your mind and body (like read, meditate, learn something new, or exercise), you are so damn tired and bummed out that all you want to do is to go home, eat some easy to prepare food (or even worse, take out), watch a movie (or even worse, television), and go to sleep. Then, the next day you drag yourself out of bed too early and not adequately rested and do it all over again. By the time the weekend arrives, you are so sick of your reality that all you want to do is go blow a bunch of the money you have risked your health to earn on alcohol and crappy food. And so the cycle begins. Pretty soon you are so completely out of touch with yourself, sick, overweight, and unhappy because of the large scale hormonal imbalances caused by all of this stress. And it all started with working TOO MUCH.

Sound familiar? You are not alone. This is America after all, so the vast majority of the adult population is with you. These are the same people who make up the statistics of sickness and disease- you know: heart disease, cancer, diabetes, obesity, etc. Those statistics WILL represent YOU.. if you aren't careful. Some of you are probably such control freaks that you still workout despite your demanding work schedule, lack of sleep, and sub-par nutrition which includes plenty of grains (I'll go into to evils of grains on another post). Well, you people quite possibly might get sick and die sooner. You see, when you are literally running on empty and have hormones that are so out of whack that your body doesn't even know if it is daytime or nighttime, running 5 miles is the worst thing you could do for yourself. When we are exposed to stress and light (as in daylight- or artificial light when we should be sleeping), we produce the hormone cortisol. Most of us have elevated cortisol ALL THE TIME. Exercise is a stressor. So if you already have elevated cortisol from your busy, worker-bee lifestyle and then you hop on the treadmill for an hour, you are only raising that elevated cortisol higher. Too much cortisol equals DISEASE. Oh and it also makes you fat. Do you ever wonder why you exercise all the time yet you don't lose weight, and sometimes you even (gasp!) gain weight? You spend hours upon hours doing "cardio" and you still can't seem to shed that tummy. Well the answer to this dilemma is in your hormones. Your hormones are dictated by DIET, SLEEP, and STRESS. Period. So before you even think about working out, you have to get your sleeping and eating habits in serious check. Otherwise your workout could be detrimental to your health.

As a trainer I have been known to refuse to train clients when they come in after having not slept or eaten well because I know exactly what a workout will do to them and I don't want to be responsible for that. I have learned this after witnessing client after client completely BONK out in the middle of a workout, unable to finish- so now I just don't even go there. If I myself am sleep deprived, feel like my immunity is low, or am otherwise not functioning effectively, I SKIP THE WORKOUT. It has taken me YEARS to learn that this is okay to do- because just like our mentality to overwork ourselves for money, we also have this sick and twisted idea of exercise and how skipping it is just not an option unless you are deathly ill. Which brings me to another point- if you are sick, PLEASE don't be so selfish as to go out in public (work, the gym, or wherever) and INFECT everything and everyone you touch. Stay at home and do yourself and everybody else a favor and just heal yourself. Okay, that was a bit of a tangent... I will make my point now:

If you have any control over how many hours a week you work: WORK LESS. Spend more time with your family (especially if you have kids) and friends. What is the point of working so hard for your family if you are so sick and tired by the time you get to be with them that you aren't any fun to be around? Not to mention, working less (and the subsequent effects) will prolong your lifespan and improve the quality of said lifespan. Do things that make you HAPPY and make you THINK (like, don't just watch t.v. or waste time on Facebook). SLEEP MORE and EAT VEGETABLES. Drink LOTS of water- WATER, not water with some artificial fruit flavored sugar alcohol powder added to it because you, "just don't like water" (WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Water is life!!) DRINK REAL, PURE, UNADULTERATED WATER. Only when you have created good sleeping and eating habits should you even consider working out regularly.

Over the next few weeks I will be posting more information on how to achieve optimum wellness.
But for now, let's just start with working less.

The world outside of myself...

The past three weeks I have been very much inside my own little world. I have been consumed in my own issues, decisions, emotions, and thoughts. And I'm OVER IT. While I recognize the necessity of taking time to check in with yourself and make sure you are headed in the direction you want to go, I am realizing (rather gradually) that the reason I have been feeling a little blank and uninspired is because I need to be a part of something BIGGER than myself. Something more than promoting wellness and helping individuals lead healthier lives (which I know is an important and noble thing), but something GLOBAL, something separate from what I do to earn money. Something that is selfless and truly making a difference for people who are in great NEED.

Last night we watched a movie called "War Child". It is a documentary about Emmanuel Jal, a native of Southern Sudan and a former child soldier during the civil war in the 80's and 90's until he was rescued by a British aid worker named Emma McCune. He now lives in the UK and has become a rap artist; he speaks and sings about his story and this is how he is healing from his unbelievable experience. He is only one of millions of people who have similar stories, and he is doing good by helping rebuild the lives of other young people like himself. He started a non-profit foundation called Gua Africa, Gua means Peace in Nuer, a tribal language of Southern Sudan (see above picture). Gua Africa is an effort to raise money in order to build a school in Leer, Emmanuel Jal's home village. Because of the 20 year civil war in Sudan, the children in this village and many others, no longer have a way to become educated. As an up and coming music artist, he has been able to support, not only his own family in Leer, but also young people in Kenya and Sudan who have been affected by the war.

I am going to become a part of this starting with setting up a monthly donation to the "Survivors of War" group of Gua Africa. I am also going to think of a fund raiser that I can organize and put on in Portland, similar to how people run a race for certain causes, but something more creative and fun than just running (although I did realize that although I have no desire to ever run a marathon, I would do it for something other than myself).

With all of that said, I have been thinking about my blog a lot lately: I am going to take it in a whole new direction. From here on out, this blog is not just about me in MY world, it's about me in OUR world. Stay tuned...

More Gluten-Free Goodness

As most of you (all 3 of you- 2 of whom are my sisters- who read my blog) know, I am an AVID follower of Elena Amsterdam and her gluten-free cooking website and cookbook. I think she is a wizard because she creates some of the most delicious recipes, so delicious in fact, that I no longer crave their gluten counterparts. Well, I have found another amazing woman and her extensive blog about gluten free cooking. She is the Gluten-Free Goddess and I am so excited to try some of her recipes. She is not Paleo like Elana, so not all of her recipes will work for me, but a lot of them will, and the ones that won't can be easily modified. I was on a search for some good soups and stews since it is getting cold here and we are experiencing an abundance of root vegetables like sweet potatoes and squash. Plus I am craving some good quality beef. So stew sounds perfect. Like this one:

I have just begun looking through her recipes and I can tell I could spend hours oohing and aahing at most of them while I try to decide what to make first.

I have been spending a lot of time recently focusing my energy on manifesting financial abundance. With all of that energy going out, some is coming back to me in the form of opportunities to make some cash. Most recently one of my clients asked me to be his personal chef, to that I said YES!!! immediately. How cool is that? I am not "qualified" by traditional standards, but I can cook and I cook healthy food, so it makes sense that one of my clients would hire me to cook for him. It's funny, because as a personal trainer, the hardest part is to get people to eat the right food because I'm not making those decisions for them, but now I am- muah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa! Well, at least for one person...

I am working up a new idea- A BIG IDEA- that I don't want to go into yet because this one is super special. I have a lot of ideas, and it seems like I bounce back and forth from one to the next quite often, so this one- this one I am keeping close to me for a while until I am sure that I can make it happen. I will tell you one thing though: I am more excited about this idea than any other.

Food and Humans

As humans, more specifically as Western humans, our relationship with food is interesting. We no longer treat food as a drug, as our means of surviving and thriving. For example: Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is in no way about the celebration of the friendship between the pilgrims and the Native Americans, because we all know what really happened.. Thanksgiving is about FOOD (and apparently football for most Americans). Yeah we throw the family aspect and the opportunity to spend time with loved ones in there (which I will go into more later), but really, the entire day or weekend revolves around the food. Is there something wrong with this? In Paleolithic times we did not eat for pleasure, we ate to stay alive and we ate what was available to us in it's natural form. Therefore we ate things that were good for us, things that nourished us as we needed. Now, we as humans, eat for pleasure, and it's actually killing us.

About a month ago, Ramman and I took a trip to our respective hometowns to visit our parents and to just spend some time in two great cities: Seattle and Vancouver B.C. During this trip I realized that my love for certain restaurants or bites to eat had dwindled. Before we went I literally wrote out a list of places that I wanted to take Ramman to so that he could share the wonderful experiences of this food with me and thus share my memory of how delicious it was. Now, I didn't want to go too far off of our regular way of eating because I had been doing very well with healing my digestive system, so I was picking and choosing what might be tolerable but still enjoyable. Once we got to Seattle, none of the places I had initially thought of going to sounded good anymore and I realized that the only reason that I had wanted to go back to them was because of fond memories of eating the food and associations with people and certain times when I ate it. I said to Ramman, "It's funny, because all of my favorite places to eat don't sound good to me anymore because I ate differently back then." as in, I ate poorly, compared to now. The thought of an old fashioned, glazed Top Pot doughnut used to make me drool with anticipation until I could get my hands on one (they always left me feeling quite crappy, but the way it melted in my mouth was worth it).. but now the thought of them and how I will feel for possibly days after is enough to make me say no thanks. The one place we did go (besides Whole Foods so that we could make our own Paleo creations of chicken and broccoli) to have a HIGHLY anticipated "cheat" meal was Taste of India, my favorite Indian restaurant of all time, one that caused me to scoff at all other Indian restaurants. I had been talking this place up for 2 years to Ramman, but when we went, I felt like I would be better off without it. For nostalgia's sake we went anyway. We shared a couple of chicken dishes and some chicken naan and I was pretty disappointed that my memory of my favorite restaurant would continue to be just that, a memory. Needless to say I was a little miffed at myself for choosing naan and so-so chicken dishes with too much rich sauce and not enough chicken as my "cheat" meal. I didn't feel that great afterwards either.

My point is this: it seems that our relationhip with food is a very fragile one. It's okay to have fond memories of this treat or that meal, but when we eat it and feel a certain emotion, we then become addicted to that emotion and think that there is no other way to achieve that elated feeling. When it is in fact the emotion and not the food that we are enjoying. Being aware of this connection is very important, because you can then make the decision to have this experience, knowing exactly what is happening. My tastes for food have changed. I no longer crave foods that I know will make me feel like I've been run over by a truck 70 times. My health is way more important to me than the taste of Hot Lips Pizza. That's not to say that I will never have gluten or dairy again, but I know what I react to and how I react so I can make an educated, rational decision when it comes to what I eat, as opposed to an emotional one.

Two weekends ago we celebrated our 2 year anniversary and I had an entire day (well, 2 meals and a dessert) planned, all of it gluten free and refined sugar free. We splurged with the dairy and the higher ratio of carbs, but hey, it was a planned and well thought out experience:) Here are some photos of what we ate for dinner:

Chicken Parmesan made with almond flour, parmesan, mozzerella, and organic tomato basil sauce, greens and broccoli cooked in olive oil and garlic on the side. Oh, and of course some red wine.


The most delicious Chocolate Cream Pie EVER: made with almond flour and unsweetened coconut in the crust, 72% dark chocolate, agave nectar, and coconut milk in the filling, and well.. regular real whipped cream on top- couldn't resist.


These almond flour recipes are from the wonderful Elana Amsterdam. She makes eating this way EASY.

Until one is committed...

The past week or so I have been realizing again (because can never realize this too many times) just how much potential each human being has; how great the power of THOUGHT, DESIRE, and FAITH are. One of my favorite quotes of all time is from Jiminy Cricket: "When your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme." I have loved this quote since I was a little girl, and I have believed it too.. but since I've grown up and become an "adult" I have forgotten the powerful truth: ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. If you want something badly enough, you can have it, do it, or be it. You just have to commit to your desire and have the determination to make it happen and the faith that it will. As the famous polymath Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said:

Until one is committed
There is hesitancy, the chance to draw back
Always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative (and Creation)
There is one elementary truth
The ignorance which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:

That the moment that one definitely commits ones self
Then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one
That would never otherwise have occurred.

A whole stream of events issues from the decision
Raising in one’s favor all manner
Of unforeseen incidents and meetings
And material substance
Which no one could have dreamt
Would have come your way.

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

I have already begun.

World Peace Day

Today is the International Day for Peace.. Did you know about this? I sure didn't. Is it really a "cease-fire" day? Was not one shot fired? Not one person killed by another in the name of war? Doubtful. Here is a documentary that was made by a man named Jeremy Gilly of Peace One Day. In it he tells his story about how he accomplished having September 21st declared as an International Day of Peace. But his journey goes far beyond that- he continued his quest to try and get governments around the world to actually CEASE FIRE.



And here's a video from Matisyahu's latest album "Light"::
It's about PEACE ONE DAY.

Inspired for LIFE.

Training has been going very well. I am still following all of Ido Portal's floreio workouts as consistently as he is posting them. When he doesn't post one I will usually do something else or go back to the beginning of his workouts and repeat them. This new variety of training has challenged me in incredible ways and I am very much enjoying it. I am able to do most of his "intermediate" skills and workouts now (I started at "beginner") but once in a while I am humbled by a new skill or combination and have to go back to beginner (like part of today's workout). I am not yet completely comfortable linking all of the moves together, but I am improving on the individual skills and linking a few together. This is hard stuff!

This is the workout I did on Monday: (it took 2 hours..)

Workout - Intermediate

Warm Up -

Mobility

A1. 5 min Joint Mobility

A2. Wrists Routine X 1 set

A3. Shoulder ROM and Stabilization routine X 1 set

A4. Ido's Squat Clinic Routine X 1 set

A5. Scapula Mobilization Routine X 1 set

B1. Handstand Body Line Wall Drill X 30 sec

B2. Handstand Straighten Into Line X 45 sec total work

Complete 2 cycles of B1-B2, resting 60 sec between exercises

(This is from the advanced workout, beginner and intermediate did not include the straighten into line drill)

Floreio
C1. QDR Rotational Push Ups -Beginner variation (hardest beginner variation) X 10-14 reps / 3 sets / 60 sec of rest
D1. Corta Capim Spin (beginner variation) X 14 reps / 3 sets / 45 sec of rest

Strength
E1. Gymnast's Extended Set / rest 180 sec / 3 sets(This consists of 4 different types of pull/chin-ups starting with hardest and working down to easiest, doing as many of each variation as you can and resting 10 seconds before moving to the next easiest.. VERY HARD)

Prehab
F1. Shoulder ROM and Stabilization routine X 1 set
F2. Scapula Mobilization Routine X 1 set
Complete 2 subsequent supersets of F1-F2 no rest

I went to Kaila's memorial last Saturday and left feeling incredibly inspired. It may seem weird to think that a memorial service can inspire you, but when it is in celebration of an amazing woman who led an incredible life- it makes sense. She started traveling the world when she was 15. She was a chef, a dancer, a photographer, a mother, and many other things. She knew many languages and had friends and communities that welcomed her all around the world. She was passionate about learning alternative medicine and healing; she was born naturally in her parents home, and she gave birth to her daughter naturally in her parents home. Most recently she was doing humanitarian work in West Africa, with her husband and little girl. They were living in a small village where she had built a well for the people who lived there, before this they had no clean water. I don't know how long they were there, but she and her husband had their wedding ceremony in the village honoring the traditional ceremony of those people. That was only in July. Hearing about her adventures and experiences connecting with people all over the world is only motivating me more to really make my own adventure happen; to make my dream a reality. She inspired people all throughout her life, and is still inspiring even though her physical presence is gone.

I made contact with a few farms in Belize where we can work for a free room and food. I spoke with one person on the phone (he lives part time in Canada and part time in Belize, smart guy) from Utz Kab Farm (Utz Kab means "Good Earth" in Mayan), and we actually committed to being there in mid-March to work on the farms for one month! Utz Kab is in San Antonio in the southern Toledo district, close to the Caribbean coast, and the other location is north of there in the central Cayo district close to the Guatemalan border. It is becoming real! Both places are all about sustainable agriculture and living.. they grow organic cacao, bananas, mangoes, oranges, coconuts (all of which we will be harvesting). We will also help build structures (cabins, fences, paths, etc.)- and there are LOTS of Mayan ruins, caves, rivers, and waterfalls close by. It is all coming together and becoming a reality, and I am so excited. The world and it's opportunities to help on a larger scale are beginning to open up. After Belize, the options are endless. I have a list of places where we can work/volunteer from farms to orphanages to guiding treks in the mountains. Next step: buying a one-way ticket to Cancun for March 1st, 2010!

Heartache..

Me and my sister Lindsey, Summer 2008

Death is profound. It’s like a whip across the back to bring you back to the reality of the mortal world. I have never felt the grief of someone very close to me dying. I have come close, but thankfully it hasn’t gotten past the doorstep. When my grandparents died, I was too young to really experience what it meant. I miss them now and I wish I had known them better, but I was minimally affected by their deaths at the time.

The death of K is the closest I think I have experienced. She was my friend Z's older sister. Z and I went to high school together and our group of friends spent a lot of time with their family. My older sister Lindsey was friends with K. As Lindsey said, we were mirror images of each other; I am Z and she is K… and when I think about that it just makes my heart ache even more. Today Lindsey and I wept together on the phone.. I just can’t bear the thought of losing my big sister, and I absolutely cannot imagine how Z must feel. I have absolutely no idea how painful losing a sibling, mother, father, or friend is. But I know that I will have to experience it at some point. I feel like that point is getting a little closer. Each death that I hear about is a little closer to me than the one before it, and this completely terrifies me.

Ramman says that to deal with the death of someone you have to have the realization that nobody really ever dies. Their physical body does, and that is what we are affected by.. but their spirit is simply moving on to another physical body. I do believe this to be true, but it doesn’t really make it any easier. You still have to grieve and mourn, and that seems like an incredible amount of pain. Eventually you heal, and you can move forward.. but the pain, the pain just seems like it would be unbearable.

My heart aches for their family.

Be Extraordinary.

ex·traor·di·nary-
a: going beyond what is usual, regular, or customary b: exceptional to a very marked extent

In the midst of a less than pleasant phone conversation with my mom a few weeks ago (oh, come on, we all have those kinds of conversations with our parents... right?), I took something she said a little too personally, as I usually do with her. She said something that to me implied that I was just average. She said that all throughout my life I was brilliant, I shined, I soared, but now, now I am just mediocre. Now, some of you might be saying, "Your own mother said this to you?!" but keep in mind that I am paraphrasing a bit (like I said, I took it a little too personally) AND my mom decided at some point in her adult life that being tactful, when offering feedback to her own children, is not necessary. She meant the best. She simply was trying to tell me to be extraordinary. And she's partially right, which is why I have this feeling of discontent and restlessness deep down in the pit of my stomach. I am not being as extraordinary as I can be. Which is why I am constantly day dreaming about ways to change my life. I don't mean completely change it, because most of it is wonderful, I just mean... create a better BIGGER picture for myself. This was my mom's way of saying DO THE BIG THINGS YOU WANT TO DO.

I moved to Portland just over two years ago. Before I moved here I was working as a personal trainer for two years at the Seattle Athletic Club in Seattle, my hometown. It was a great place to start out as a trainer and I have a few lasting friendships from working there. But I started to feel stagnant and I wanted to move forward. I felt moving somewhere by myself was something I needed to do (even though I had a lot of friends in Portland, which was another big reason why I moved), and I wanted to experience the fitness industry outside of my Seattle Athletic Club bubble. When I moved, I got similar jobs in Portland, but not before being unemployed for a month and a half. Needless to say I was elated to have two jobs and finally began to feel like I was settling in here. I was playing competitive Ultimate Frisbee and had a busy single girl's social life.. but I still didn't feel right. My health wasn't that great, I was eating poorly (compared to semi-high standards at the time), I was partying too much (again, high standards), and I was trying too hard to make romantic relationships happen because I was craving a real companion. Then I met Ramman.. and my whole world changed- for the better. He has contributed in HUGE ways to my evolution as an athlete and movement artist (I would have never called myself that before), my perspective of myself and my own power, and shifting my awareness of myself within this world. In other words: he has helped me open my eyes a little wider and pay attention to the periphery. I'm not implying that I would not have grown this much with out him.. he has simply helped quicken the process. As individuals, we feel empowered; together, we feel unstoppable. And so the evolution together continues.

I love helping people. And that is what I do. But I am getting tired of helping people the same way I have the last four+ years. I am quickly evolving as a personal trainer (I recently changed this title to "Movement Coach") and my theories and philosophies are leaking out where ever I go and whenever I speak.. sometimes to people who just aren't ready to hear it- but hey, who is ever really ready the first time they hear that they need to make some important changes in their life? I work in a gym, even though I don't completely believe in working OUT in a gym.. this is why I am unhappy professionally right now. Where I spend 20-30 hours a week does not directly coincide with the lifestyle I am trying to lead and teach others about. Sometimes I feel like my growth is being stunted while I'm at my job. But instead of hating every minute of being there, I am infiltrating. While I am here, I am determined to share my philosophies with as many people as possible.. I just have to do it rather quietly, as I might convince a few to quit the gym:) However, most people just smile and nod, and walk away thinking that I am way too uptight about gluten and pull ups... but maybe, just MAYBE, they took something away with them. Ultimately I want to either work for myself (hence, my and Ramman's attempt at creating Rip City Fitness) or a company (like Wildfitness or MovNat) that shares the EXACT same values and philosophies that I do. Not just some of the same ways of thinking- ALL. And to be able to spread this lifestyle (the Primal Lifestyle, that is) all over the world would be incredible.

The world is a very confusing and chaotic place and a lot of people are unhappy, unhealthy, and uneducated as to how to create a change in their own lives. This state of human beings is directly reflected in the state of the world. If more people (especially people in powerful positions) were in balance physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally... well, the world would indeed be a much better place. I am figuring out how I can continue with my personal and professional revolutionary momentum, travel the world, help people, and contribute to changing the world starting with the positive development of people of all ages; starting with each individual I come in contact with. This is how I am and will continue to be extraordinary.